john dowland, sorrow and the timelessness of music

i've been working with the artist jude cowen montague on a second ep of works based upon prepared texts derived from well known songs, in this instance songs by john dowland (the first was on folk songs)

immersing myself in the work of such a central figure in english language song has left me even more impressed by his achievements, even more in awe of the beauty contained within his arrangements. few works achieve such an elevated level, a point at which they produce a rush of joy and spiritual and emotional release. bach's setting of john's passion achieves this, cage's silence, byrd's consort songs also have moments which lift the listener out of their own body. all these works (and others) have a timelessness which i have tried to capture in my settings for jude cowen montague's voice.

while working on this ep (hopefully it will be completed soon) i worked on four one hour long organ pieces (all split into two thirty minute sections) for each of the songs we are working with.

i hope these hint towards the timelessness of dowland's work.

a few recent works

i tend to be lazy around this blog and wanted to write a non music one so i thought 'well it's supposed to be about music' so here's a run down of a few recent releases and the rational behind them.




this album remixes laica's 'id situation (a 10" of which can be bought here taking the idea of cctvs and surveillance and humanising the machines. the second track ends with the death of two cameras and the feedback from their dead circuits.



this album was written to commemorate the centenary of the opening of world war one.

the tracks do not use lo-bit sound but rather a form of processing i developed to mimic lo-bit but still allow higher frequency responses - there are still unusual sounds present that you could not get in a lo-bit file

this idea was to mimic the often ludicrous use of noise reduction technology in the remastering of early audio and film, to allow an ironic 'documentary' feel to the work which would act as a counterpoint to the subject matter.




for this release i used the data from the photograph which forms the cover to create the music so, in a way, it is literally a portrait (and an ironic take on growing older)

'you look like your mother' - describing alternative narratives.

as discussed before i have been writing an  auto-biography which contains multiple and largely false narratives.

my aim has been to question the often constructed narratives around trans* identity and the processes by which we construct the narrative thread of our own lifes.

i have spoken in the past about the seductivness of the 'i always knew' tradition of trans* identity in which having known you where a girl/ boy from childhood is treasured and viewed as more authentic. i wished to challenge this in the book and i also wanted to challenge common themes i have found in trans*autobiography relating to coming out, 'transitioning,' medication and surgery. as i state in the book

so many choices for the direction of biography not least of which is when to allow the great life changing moment too occur. there are various trusted approaches: rebirth upon surgery, rebirth upon taking hormones

some of these narratives grew out of the 'standards of care' which, for many generations of trans*women including my own, formed the basis of how we understood ourselves, changed how we constructed our own narratives. though this time has passed and a greater openness exists in the community to alternative narratives the old ideas of legitimacy and the old hierarchies hold true.

ofcorse the book goes beyond only discussion trans*autobiography to discuss the whole genera of autobiography, biography and even the idea of narrative itself.

though indebted to b. s. johnson's 'the unfortunates' i wished to move beyond the limited structure he offered (or even that offered by marc saporta) by destroying the order and sense of the page, offering narratives that collapse in upon themselves, eat their own tails.

this is an ending which will lead you back to the beginning, a circle, a narrative eating it’s own  tail. stop, begin, speak.  end

the book can be purchased along with two cds of music and a two hour film on my bandcamp and as a stand alone item here

in praise of knowledge (aka. 'your work is pretentious' yea, like i care)

i've been accused of pretension recently and it's hardly been the first time.

i don't mind, indeed the term has taken on a meaning for many, particularly anti-intilectuals, which makes it a badge of honour: it no longer means that you parade knowledge that you do not have but that you are not afraid to show what knowledge you possess.

while i have no desire to alienate people by talking over their heads i am not willing to keep my interests in history, philosophy, film, literature, music and poetry out of my work and will explain where my ideas have came from rather than (as an elitist would) assume knowledge.

i know a little about and am interested in the history of fascism in europe so i felt it was not pretentious to produce a three part work on the subject.

i have lived with the often obtuse text of t.s. eliot's 'four quartets' for most of my adult life so felt i could produce work around that subject

i have read quite a bit on early 20th century exploration of the north and south poles so felt i could produce work around that subject

i have both read about the marian cult and was brought up catholic so i felt i could produce work around that subject

i have read much anglo-saxon poetry and prose so...well you get the picture.

i see no problem with handling complex issues and i have no problem with people having greater knowledge than me. likewise i have no problem with obscure and difficult musical forms such as drone, minimalism and free improvisation so why should i produce work other than that which interests me?

the academy often seeks to limit access to culture and learning to those outside it's circle and this is met by an equal but sadly not opposite force outside the academy which seeks to shame those who look to gain knowledge. i will have no part of either.

when i was growing up my parents would do what they could to feed my interest in literature and felt a great pride in my growing intellect. i still remember my father taking me to buy two bookcases and proudly telling everyone in the shop that i 'liked to read.' no one should be ashamed of knowledge either having knowledge, seeking knowledge or having little knowledge in a field but wanting more.  

my work is pretentious? yea like i care.

deus ex machina: conceptual music and the possibilities of performance

in discusion with the composer james wise (with whom i have collaborated on two albums and aided the research into some of his own compositions) regarding the possibility (or rather joke) of filling a one hundred and eighty five tb magnetic tape produced by sony i came up with the concept of producing a seven day long piece for performance which was to be both filmed and recorded and released on one medium ie. a single external hard drive.

the piece became 'deus ex machina' and it may possibly be performed in some way as people have volunteered to find a venue to host it.

when i wrote the score for it (more in the style of alvin lucier and annea lockwood's sets of written instructions) i did not intend a performance to be attempted, it was purely conceptual. now that possibility may come to be.

treatise pp. 168 -173: completed

as promised i have completed the cardew piece.

i originally intended to record this as a single three hour piece but the logistics (namely that i can only record 1 1/2 hours at a time and don't have an external device) so i recorded it as a series of one hour pieces, taking two hours at a time.

this follows the score pretty closely but deviates slightly by taking sections which cover roughly 1/3rd of the page and making them half the length of the page within the timescale of the performance.

so, here it is: six pages of 'treatise,' three hours of music.

i'll also be engaging in a much looser improvisation for piano based on pages from the score when i have the time.

a round up of releases for easter and a liminal recording

i've been very lazy lately and haven't updated this blog so here's a little round up of some recent releases.

firstly are two releases for easter, the first addressing the political nature of the easter story and the second exploring the nature of 'resurrection'

firstly comes ''wild calla lillies growing on the banks of the allander symbolise the resurrection of judas who will free us from roman tyranny'

this discuses the idea of judas as a zealot, a revolutionary jewish sect who wanted to promote the violent overthrow of roman rule. in the reading of the easter story foregrounding this sees judas as a disillusioned revolutionary who saw the one great hope of revolution (jesus) becoming increasingly mystical and increasingly disinterested in poverty and the world judas inhabited. the last chance of a revolution was to sacrifice jesus, to allow this now useless leader to become a martyr who's death would inflame others to act.

in this reading judas is a hero




the second work for easter examines 'reserection' in light of spring, in light of the earth awakening from the long sleep of winter.




finally comes 'we have arisen from sleep' a deliberate attempt to produce a 'liminal' work in the style of coil's 'muzik to play in the dark' albums.

this album uses the spark-le hybrid drum machine processed through audiomulch.

more cardew (cycles and studies: finding a waveform study in treatise

i've been poring over a print edition of 'treatise' and have found the work to be cyclical and to have sections which can be described as 'movements' where the notation has a consistency.

i have chosen to focus on one of these sections and produce a single piece from it which will be three hours long with a 'preface' of another 30 minute section.

the seven pages i have selected share the same line, sometimes broken, sometimes uneaven, thinning out towards the middle of the final page and i see a waveform there.

my main focus then will be on a waveform study i see in the score and it will be both long and remarkably minimal.

now i only need to find the time needed to perform and record it

a review of 'a site of privilege/ a site of pain'

the site 'yea i know it sucks' reviews my album 'a site of privilege/ a site of pain' here and i rather like the review:

Elizabeth Veldon is (like it or not) a character that made quite a name for herself in the experimental and noise underground. I’m not sure why, but it seems as if she attracts controversy which always end up with two sides of a cake. One part with chocolate and whipped cream that the lovers seem to love  and then the bottom part with soft dough that for some reason isn’t always loved or perhaps misunderstood and even hated.

But either-way be it positive or negative it’s for sure that mentioning the name of Elizabeth Veldon is able to trigger hot headed conversations and probably also mixed emotions. I think that marketing wise she did a very good job being overly controversial, as thanks to haters bashing and lovers defending; her name that pops up through online forums and (anti)social media has probably registered in many of us who occasionally go out for a walk in the fascinating world of the underground.

The only thing is, what’s next? I mean we all have heard of Mickey Mouse, but what’s the point of knowing if not ever seeing an old cartoon or a comic with that mouse starring in it? Not suggesting that Elizabeth Veldon is comparable to Mickey but it seems to me that her character might walk upfront her audio output perhaps, (it’s from my perspective the first thing you see or read), but I’m sure she is about the music, carrying her art behind her almost iconic face and name.

Even the most resistant, curious underground recreationist will Sooner or later listen to her music, to the sounds she puts out, read the controversial title tracks, the causes or friends she dedicates her works too and that’s probably the thing that counts and keeps it all going and flowing throughout the years. People are easily pumped up, with opinions and steam out of their noses but it takes a bit more time for people to check things out for themselves, hear the music or the noise and then form some kind of idea if this is something they enjoy & are into or that it isn’t really their cup of tea and rather move along.

I know this is a bit of a long introduction, but just feel that it’s necessary at this point in time. For what I know is that Elizabeth Veldon isn’t always very compatible with  my personal views and opinions, but hey I used to enjoy listening to the music of Charles Manson but do not go out and stab pregnant people too. So with this in mind I wanted to take some time and actually listen, experience and hear the music behind all the intended or non-intended controversy of this obviously unique individual. You still want to read along? Than better prepare yourself for salted honesty and crazed opinion…

I moved down to bandcamp and came across an album that looked very interesting. It was called ‘A map of privilege / a map of pain’ and came with the following description by the artist:

this album grew out of the controversy over trans*women having or not having male privilege when still presenting as male.

i believe this to be true and for me a large part of becoming who i now am was accepting this and seeking to acknowledge both how this had benefited me and the scars this had left.

You see, that this is an interesting piece of information here. It might be an obstacle for anyone not being in the same situation in life, to fully comprehend what this all means. It’s a controversial topic as for non trans*gendered people it is difficult to understand the thoughts, the mindset, sexuality and all other complexity that a trans*woman or trans*male has to go through. It’s something to think about as well because it is surprising how little information and support is available above ground to make these important kind of subjects less taboo and discussable. Gays and the problems they face are overly well presented in the western media, but trans*people seems to be something that for most people is something that is kept a bit like a mystery, something that isn’t discussed much.

But how do these two tracks aka maps sound like? And is it possible to let us listeners feel a bit closer to the concept and the artist thoughts and feelings about this actual music? By listening to the full ten minutes of the ‘privilege’ track I must say to feel a bit hypnotized by it all. It’s a very minimal work and also very fragile and warm in its sound. It could be a ten minute long loop or showing a slight slow difference, but these must be so little that it will cost all your intellectual focus to spot them. Something that isn’t probably what the purpose of this work is about.
To me, music wise it’s like an aesthetic, a soft woolen pillow in the face while being hypnotized on a steady flow of non-panicky ambient.

And then expecting a yin and yang moment at the ‘map of pain’ another controversial point enters in. This track is almost identical to the ‘map of privilege’ which made me think that perhaps the concept of ‘privilege’ and ‘pain’ are like two sides of the same coin. To be honest, I personally do not seem to understand or identify with it, but perhaps that is the whole point. Someone else probably recognize something in this conceptual music and would say ‘damn, Elizabeth you hit the nail on the head again!’

It’s probably a bit like going to a museum of modern art with someone you hardly know. You see this gigantic framed painting with the complete canvas covered in the blue color. Just at the moment that I feel like saying my thoughts of ‘What the hell is this?’ your museum buddy opens the mouth complimenting it and tells how beautiful it is. It’s probably one of those things with this release of Elizabeth Veldon, it’s either you ‘get it’ and love it or you just shrug your shoulders and go elsewhere.
So why not visit this release with your own ears and see if it is something you dig? It’s kind of relaxing music really.

i rather like my work being compared to minimalist painting and it's reminiscent of  yves klein and his international klein blue not to mention derek jarman's wonderful film 'blue'