quite some time ago i parted ways with a label owner over their increasing drift towards far right politics. before this they had asked to publish my harsh noise work so my own bandcamp could be given over to drone and improvisation.
i will not go into the particulars of the dispute with this person and that is not the subject of this post.
when my work was deleted from their label i republished it as two separate albums - one dealing with drone and the other with harsh noise but, at the time, i believed three albums to be lost including one of the releases under my harsh noise wall side project green shadow.
thankfully two of those albums where found on an external drive and have been republished on my own bandcamp.
sadly one album, the deeply personal 'three christmas ghosts' (where i spoke about my brother's death and seeing the woman who had raped me several years previously) is lost and may be lost for good. perhaps it is fitting that an album about letting go of pain should itself fade away, a poetic end to it's life but still something in the back of my mind wants it to be preserved. alas it appears this is not to be so.
a few points on this album: the sound quality is not fantastic as it comes from mp3s converted to flac files and some of the files where uploaded as mono tracks even though i sent the individual stereo tracks. to get over this i i copied the mono track, panned each track to different channels and created a false stereo track much as you will find in early stereo releases (i myself have one of these in the shape of the rolling stones 'his satanic majesties request.') this should be thought of as an archive release rather than as part of any ongoing projects or thematic concerns.
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